Self-sabotage – Striking Where you Least Expect it

Self-sabotage – Striking Where you Least Expect it

It is our mindset that makes or breaks us, and often we don’t even realise what’s happening. This is especially the case with self-sabotage. None of us deliberately set out to ruin our careers, or even to have dramas along the way, yet sometimes it happens.

Self-sabotage is an action we take that is based on false beliefs about ourselves. It springs out of insecurities that we may not even be aware of. For example, you may have been raised to believe that it’s not ‘ladylike’ to excel at something, or that ‘good manners’ means holding back and letting others shine. Those beliefs don’t do you any favours, do they?

What self-sabotage looks like

Here are a few examples of the ways in which we self-sabotage:

  • Giving first choice to others
  • Not speaking up about our abilities
  • Being perfectionists
  • Avoiding conflict
  • Being too servile
  • Constantly seeking validation

Does that sound like you?

Our self-sabotaging behaviours are also self-fuelling. Each of these behaviours detracts from our credibility in the eyes of others and, being women, we tend to accept the valuations others make of us. When the valuation is poor, it reinforces our self-doubt and gives power to our self-sabotaging thoughts. It’s a cycle that we can repeat over and over again.

“This is how women self-sabotage and self-destruct. Unless we have constant witnesses to our hard work, we are convinced we pull off every day of our lives through smoke and mirrors.” ― Sarah Ban Breathnach

Overcoming self-sabotage

The only way to deal with self-sabotage is to become aware of what you are thinking and why. It is called self-awareness, and it’s a commitment to looking and listening inside your thought processes and instincts and then learning from what you observe.

Start to notice…

  • Which thoughts support your career success and which thoughts sabotage.
  • What you are really afraid of in those moments of fear.
  • What you say to yourself when you have an opportunity to shine.
  • What you say to yourself when you choose not to shine.

This is a habit you need to develop because it’s the only way you can disarm the self-sabotage. It takes practice – lots of it – but you’re worth it. You deserve to be successful.

I believe success is the sum of the choices we make. You are entitled to live an extraordinary life and build an extraordinary career. You don’t have to justify it to anyone – not even your inner critic. Shut down the self-sabotage and give yourself the chance to fulfill your true purpose.

Athena Coaching

Linda Murray is a successful businesswoman, coach, strategist and mentor, speaker and trainer. Linda’s talent is teaching women to increase their commercial success while using their authentic feminine approach. She mixes her personal experience in business, her strong academic background and her observations of hundreds of businesses to show businesswomen and female executives how to enjoy greater commercial outcomes and accelerated individual success. Linda has coached countless clients to greater success through improved business strategies, increased profits, leadership development, increased team engagement and greater personal satisfaction and commercial confidence. Linda balances the extremes required in business. She has the unique ability to focus on both the big picture and the details; the numbers and the people; the sales and the administration; the left-brain and the right-brain. Linda has a track record in assisting women in business and female executives to identify the commercially profitable big picture strategy and then create an achievable action plan to implement it. Linda built her first successful business in her early 20s, growing her business to a team of 25 bookkeepers and financial controllers. Linda’s business model modernised the bookkeeping industry dramatically – by constantly challenging the traditional models of client management and service delivery. After experiencing the results that business coaching delivered in her business, Linda became passionate about coaching. Linda sold her financial business to start Athena Coaching, where her clients enjoy the benefit of her proven commercial experience combined with state of the art coaching support and her exceptional academic background. Linda has a Masters of Business Coaching, a Bachelor of Arts (Psychology and Philosophy), is an Accredited Professional Coach and Certified NLP Practitioner.


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